Beauty in the Boundaries

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I was talking with my daughter recently and she shared with me that she is teaching my granddaughter about setting and respecting physical space limits.  My daughter didn’t use those specific words, but it is essentially what she was referring to.  It reminded me of the importance of setting clear boundaries with others and the important responsibility of keeping and respecting boundaries of others and of ourselves.  It is good to recognize that we all have limitations and recognizing that and putting healthy boundaries up helps us to thrive.

My granddaughter is learning about a physical boundary, but there are other areas we may want to consider when thinking of boundaries.  Areas that I have learned to value and protect with boundaries include financial, time, energy, and emotional boundaries.  These can change as our circumstances change, but it is good to know what boundary I need or want to be in place for the c ...

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Posted in:

  • Assertiveness
  • Change
  • Communication
  • Control
  • Coping
  • Decisions
  • Emotions
  • Empathy
  • Family
  • Goals
  • Mindset
  • Parenting
  • Practice
  • Relationships
  • Self-Care
  • comfortable
  • compassion
  • safety

Tags:

  • Communication
  • Confidence
  • Connection
  • Expectations
  • Hopes
  • Parenting
  • boundaries
  • change
  • friendships
  • growth
  • independence
  • practice
  • self-care
  • trust

For Want of a Dustpan

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At somewhere around the age of 15, one weekend day I found myself in the house alone with my dad. As the roles in our house were very traditional, I was intrigued when I heard the unexpected sound of a broom. Finding this a bit unbelievable, I peeked around the corner, being certain to stay out of sight, and observed my dad sweeping up a mess he had made on the floor. Even more unbelievable was his next step; he paused, looked around the kitchen and, not seeing a dustpan, swept his mess toward the entrance door. He lifted the corner of the rug and carefully swept it all under there. His final step was quick and quiet as he placed the corner of the rug back just where it had been. It looked perfect, except for the subtle lumps only noticeable to one who knew the truth. He went to his grave never knowing he was seen and would not be pleased that I share it freely.

I often tell this story when introducing hesitant clients to the counseling proc ...

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Posted in:

  • Counseling Process

Spaghetti and Hurt Feelings

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Spaghetti and Hurt Feelings


I am a pretty clumsy person. Like a keep-an-eye-on-me-around-closed-sliding-glass-doors, probably-should-never-eat-spaghetti-without-a-full-apron-on kind of person. Suffice it to say, my childhood nickname lauded my propensity to accumulate minor bumps and scrapes through incredible feats of un-coordination. I won’t tell you how old I was when I nearly broke my glasses walking into the corner of a doorway instead of through the doorway - although, to be perfectly clear, it was part of the transparent wall of a racquetball court…and that was the problem: it was perfectly clear.

 

Anyway, as my luck would have it, I’m also a pretty relationally-clumsy person. At times I completely miss that I have caused emotional discomfort or harm. I put my foot in my mouth routinely enough that I< ...

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Posted in:

  • Change
  • Coping
  • Decisions
  • Emotions
  • Family
  • Relationships
  • Story
  • Trauma

Tags:

  • Communication
  • Emotions
  • Expectations
  • Hopes
  • Parenting
  • feelings
  • friendships
  • relationships
  • shame

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