Doing Life Alone

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Somewhere along the way on my journey of life, I developed a belief that I was supposed to do life alone.  I absorbed a belief system from the movies I watched, the television I consumed, and the people who were closest to me, that the strong person was the one who was a rugged individualist and needed no one.  This kind of life protected me from hurt and loss because it kept people at arm’s length and made it impossible for anyone or anything to hurt me.  You see, I believed the worst thing that could happen to me was to be hurt, and I wanted to avoid that at all costs.  Since people will inevitably hurt you, I chose to let very few people in.

 

My approach to life worked into my mid-thirties, until it stopped working, and I entered a very dark period of my life where I realized that I had very few friends, I was emotionally drained, and most of the people in my life had become projects.  I believe w ...

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Posted in:

  • Relationships

Tags:

  • friendships
  • independence

Toxic Positivity

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Were you ever told or tell yourself any of the the below statements:

 

“You’ll get over it.”

“Never give up.”

“Stop being so negative.”

“Just be happy.”

“Everything happens for a reason.”

“You’ll be fine.”

“Look on the bright side.”

 

Have you ever felt misunderstood by your friends and family when you share what you are struggling with? Have you ever felt that what you are going through shouldn’t be so hard and that you need to just get over it and move on? Do you ever find yourself saying positive things that don’t really seem to help the situation?

 

If you answered yes to any of the above questions you are not alone. As humans we often are hardwired to believe that it is not “okay” to feel anything bad or that bad or sad emotions are not okay. Whether we are the ones experiencing the emotion o ...

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Posted in:

  • Positivity

Tags:

  • emotons
  • emotons
  • false optimism
  • shame
  • shame

What's Your Relationship Status?

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With warm weather comes the invitation and at times, even necessitates, cooler clothing that inevitably shows more skin than would be seen in cooler weather. Out come the shorts, sandals, sleeveless shirts, dresses and swimwear. Adjusting our apparel for the weather can produce many feelings - from confidence and contentment to feelings of shame, embarrassment, contempt or even jealousy. These feelings point towards a story, embodied from our head to our toes, of what we should think, interact, feel, judge and name our bodies. This, in turn, shapes our relationship with our body. And this relationship is under constant assault, internally or externally.

 

The assault on our bodies ranges from an uncomfortable or judgmental side glance we notice from someone, a comment relegating our worth as greater or lesser depending on our size, or being ignored or minimized for failing to present in a particular way. Some of us h ...

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Posted in:

  • Body Image

Tags:

  • acceptance
  • body care
  • judgement

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