Happy Holidays?

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What it is about the holiday season that brings with it some of the most complex emotions? Beginning as early as November, we hear Christmas music on the radio, blithely heralding in the season, and the smell of confections permeate the air, and yet what isn’t to love about yuletide? With all the messages
of good cheer and “to all a good night,” and “God bless us everyone,” it can be confusing when we can’t access holly jolly feelings.
It’s less confusing for therapists on the other side of these conversations.
As you process mixed feelings about the holidays, it can be helpful to keep some of the following in mind. Holidays represent a great deal more than celebration and fun. They represent a change in the season, the passage of time, tradition and ritual, as well as opportunities for relational conflict. These can all significantly impact our mental health for a number of reasons:
Rituals in December represent another ...

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Posted in:

  • Family
  • Holidays

Tags:

  • change
  • grief

The Imperfect Storm

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Everyone deals with challenges to their mental health. 

At this moment you may not feel lost in a cloud of depression or ready to jump out of your skin with anxiety, but you may be in the middle of a really hard day, or a series of hard days.

Sometimes we are blindsided by a crisis. At other times, the little things just add up. 

Imagine your alarm didn’t go off, you woke up late for work and your kids were crying through the night so you only slept a few hours. On your drive to work, you suddenly notice a large pothole ahead of you. Someone is tailgating you so you can’t slow down, and someone is next to you in the adjacent lane, so you can’t move over.

You make it to work with a flat tire, but at least you’re there, and thankfully nothing stressful can happen at work. 

Within a very short time, your typical daily stress-load has been amplified, and you feel that it’s bey ...

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Posted in:

  • Coping
  • Emotions
  • Exhaustion
  • Practice
  • Self-Care

Tags:

  • Emotions
  • self-care

Comfortability and Safety

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There’s a difference between feeling comfortable and feeling safe. Safety is knowing that you are not going to be harmed physically or emotionally, and that is something that should always be expected and honored. Since becoming a therapist, I have found that the word comfortable, however, does not always describe therapy. Therapy can sometimes bring up changes that adjust the status quo, and that is not always easy or comfortable.


There isn’t anything wrong with the status quo on its own. It’s comforting knowing what to expect. The problem comes when the status quo enables unhealthy habits. Let’s take a simple example. Maybe there is a candy bowl at the front desk of your workplace or somewhere you visit often. As almost anyone would, you take a piece. You strike up a conversation with the front desk person, and it becomes a routine for the two of you. The front desk worker keeps the bowl filled, you take one, and enjoy a conversation f ...

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Posted in:

  • Counseling Process
  • comfortable
  • safety

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