Tag: Control

Surrendering Control

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Over 10 years ago, I taped a prayer onto my kitchen cupboard where I would see it often. It was an extremely challenging time in my personal and family life. I felt anxious, stressed, burdened and grieved. I needed the daily (sometimes hourly) reminder that not everything was mine to worry about or control.

Perhaps you have heard of the Serenity Prayer. It is a prayer whose origins go far back into history. The first part of the prayer is used in many recovery groups. One version of the prayer was written by Reinhold Niebuhr.

“God grant me the Serenity to accept the things - I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and Wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will; That I may b ...

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Posted in:

  • Anxiety
  • Control
  • Prayer
  • Stress

Tags:

  • Control
  • anxiety
  • focus
  • serenity

Successful Goal Setting

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The start of a new year can bring out hope, excitement, and a resolve for personal growth. Often people will enter the year with goals or resolutions. Wellness goals are some of the more popular types of goals. You may want to begin a new fitness plan, lose weight, try to eat better, or work towards mental wellness. Setting goals can inspire you to focus on your future aspirations and work towards that. An important but often overlooked aspect of wellness has to do with setting appropriate, manageable, and attainable goals.

If you are considering coming to counseling, I would encourage you to think about one or two goals for your mental health that you are hoping to achieve from the counseling process. A common goal in the counseling realm is called “emotion regulation”. This is an all encompassing term for being able to control our reactions to situations around us, to display emotions appropriately, and to effectively handle the ...

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Posted in:

  • Goals
  • Self-Care
  • Therapist

Tags:

  • Contribution
  • Control
  • Deep Breathing
  • change
  • self-care
  • story

The Anxiety Equation

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Greetings, Second Story community!  

The last time I wrote, we were at the very beginning of what has become a strange and difficult season.  I know I speak for all of us here when I say it has been an honor to walk with many of you through these challenging weeks and months.  And even through all of the darkness and struggle, you have displayed such resiliency, which gives my heart hope!

In these unpredictable times, I wanted to share with you a tool I’ve been using to better understand and manage my own anxiety, one that I often offer to clients as well.  In the book Emotional Equations, Chip Conley offers an equation, or “recipe” for anxiety that looks like this: 

Anxiety = Uncertainty x Powerlessness.
In a few more words, anxiety is the combined effect of uncertainty (not knowing) and powerlessness (not having control). COVID-19 has been a perfect ...

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Posted in:

  • Anxiety

Tags:

  • Control
  • power
  • time
  • uncertainty

Building Resilience in Adoloscences

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An adolescent’s day to day can be very stressful and demanding, especially when school is in session. There are multiple things that weigh on their minds. For example, their academic success, future and college aspirations, athletic performance, peer pressure, parental expectations and demands, and relationship issues to name a few. This daily pressure adds an insurmountable stress on the adolescent mind which, in turn, requires action to address the threat of not measuring up. 

Therefore, it is important to help the adolescent build what is commonly known as resilience, which is the ability to become flexible to uncomfortable and/or demanding situations/experiences. Another way to look at it is the ability to “bounce back.” There will always be stressful and demanding situations that cause stress and weigh heavily on the mind. Building resilience will help the adolescent to adapt and overcome demanding or uncomfortable situ ...

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Posted in:

  • Adolescence

Tags:

  • Character
  • Confidence
  • Connection
  • Contribution
  • Control
  • competence
  • coping

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