Category: Practice

Three frogs are sitting on a log. Two frogs decide to jump off. How many frogs are still sitting on a log? Seems like a very straight forward question, but I’d be really curious how you answered. The correct answer is three. Three frogs are still sitting on the log, because having decided to do something is not the same as actually doing something.

I see people wrestle with being a frog on a log all the time. Sometimes it’s in the smaller things, a new year’s resolution or a diet or exercise program. Other times it’s in the bigger realm of making important changes in life, choices that if acted upon would lead to more freedom in how they live and interact with others. But often times we get stuck in the place between making a plan or decision for change, and actually putting change into action.

The thing that most often gets in the way of action is fear. Life on the other side of cha ...

It is easy to identify a physical boundary. Just take a look at the fence around your yard. You know the line of demarcation that designates where your property ends, and your neighbors yard begins. The area in your responsibility is clear. You have to tend to your yard, and you get to decide what to do with it. Your neighbor’s yard is not your responsibility. It can be much more difficult to identify where you end and someone else begins.

Boundary issues come up in all sorts of ways in relationships, parenting, work and if you are close to someone caught in addiction. If you struggle with saying “No” you may need to assess your boundaries. If you get caught up in family dynamics that leave you feeling drained and like you don’t have a control, it may be helpful to learn about setting boundaries with loved ones. If your job invades all areas of day or night, perhaps for your health and well-being it may be beneficial to “put up a ...

People have various expectations for counseling. Sometimes they expect that after a couple of sessions their problems will be solved. Other times, they refuse to start counseling because they have been told to “suck it up” and “deal with it” when thinking about their struggles in life.

Even though counseling has been more widely accepted, we often still imagine it as it is on TV. You come in, lay down on a couch, and start talking about your problems. Meanwhile, the therapist sits there with clipboard in hand, nodding their head, and asking "how do you feel about that”? I often think of that scene from Freaky Friday where Anna has switched places with her mother, who is a shrink, and when she goes to mom’s work in her place, Anna is only supposed to ask, “And how does that make you feel?”. Now, don’t get me wrong, therapists DO ask that question…but that is not all we ask.

There are ...