At somewhere around the age of 15, one weekend day I found myself in the house alone with my dad. As the roles in our house were very traditional, I was intrigued when I heard the unexpected sound of a broom. Finding this a bit unbelievable, I peeked around the corner, being certain to stay out of sight, and observed my dad sweeping up a mess he had made on the floor. Even more unbelievable was his next step; he paused, looked around the kitchen and, not seeing a dustpan, swept his mess toward the entrance door. He lifted the corner of the rug and carefully swept it all under there. His final step was quick and quiet as he placed the corner of the rug back just where it had been. It looked perfect, except for the subtle lumps only noticeable to one who knew the truth. He went to his grave never knowing he was seen and would not be pleased that I share it freely.

I often tell this story when introducing hesitant clients to the counseling process. You see, I know from personal experience, we humans can become aware of a mess we have made in our lives, know we are the ones to clean it up, and try desperately to do so without proper tools. We change a few things, enough to make things look better on the surface, and things are better….for a while.

I was not around when my mother found dad’s mess, but I have a good idea how that went. Dad started out with a mess on the floor, and ended up with a mess on the floor; he just moved it around a little bit and hid it from view. But, someone with proper tools had to clean that mess up. Similarly, when we have mess in our lives, and aren’t quite sure how to go about cleaning it up, a good counselor can be the ‘dustpan’ and facilitate lasting change, leading to a more purposeful, complete and happy life.

Sarah Fritz, LPC