Do you think it’s possible to walk away from an event, situation, relationship, or opportunity and not ask the question why? I’m not sure what the “right” answer is, but I think it’s incredibly difficult for us humans not to ask the question why. Perhaps that’s not a bad thing. When we talk about meaning in psychology, we are often referring to an explanation of why something has happened or why something is important. 

As we consider this question of why and create meaning from our experiences, what would you consider to be most meaningful to you? Is it people, events, experiences, hardships, or all of the above? Take a moment and take a look at the pictures in your phone. What is in the pictures, why makes them meaningful? How do I feel about them? What do they make me think of? This may seem like a trivial exercise or question to ponder but if we sit with it long enough, we may be surprised at how we create meaning from our experiences and what we make most important to us. 

Meaning and what’s meaningful also comes from hardship. Difficult or challenging experiences can often be seen as stories or narratives we develop to create meaning. More often than not, we label and judge these experiences as bad or negative. But I think if we really take the time, after we have moved through them, we realize we can endure hardship and see it as meaningful. To achieve this, it helps to get curious and ask how has this experience changed you? What have you learned? Who are you now that this thing has happened?

Happiness and meaningful experiences come from interacting with people. People won’t always remember the advice you give them or words of encouragement, but they will always remember the way you made them feel. These experiences stick out to us and help us create meaningful relationships and give us a sense of purpose and meaning. If we ever feel stuck in answering the question why, I ask you to consider how connected you feel to the situation or people in general, meaning will come shortly after.

~Gabe Hernandez, LLMSW