Tag: self-esteem

There are very few roles in the world with the expectation to be and do it all, quite like the role of a mother. There are also many contradicting messages about what exactly all of the IT we are meant to be doing is. So often, instead of challenging this ridiculous expectation, mothers succumb to the overwhelm of it all and just end up feeling like failures. The reality is, when you are expected to be and do it all, and you push yourself to achieve it, you are never really going to be doing any of it particularly well. How could you? This sets moms up for burnout in the one job you can not give up.

I recognize this phenomenon in every mom that sits across from me in therapy and I look upon their faces with so much empathy because years ago, that was me! What changed the game for my motherhood a few years ago, is that I came across the podcast, The Lazy Genius, and felt like this woman was throwing me a lifeline! She encouraged her listen ...

The idea of boundaries is one that has been talked about so much in the past few years, many of us throw around the term in our daily conversations. If you need a refresher, a common definition of boundaries is: “guidelines, rules, or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe, and permissible ways for other people to behave around them and how they will respond when someone steps outside those limits.”  

I often discuss the topic of boundaries with clients, yet it is still something that I struggle with navigating in my personal life. I could use this space to share education on the different types of boundaries and the possible impacts of setting boundaries, but instead I’d like to share something that has been meaningful to me. A few years ago I heard a quote by Glennon Doyle that said, “every time you’re given a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, your dut ...

Body First

“Sorry” I said as I muted myself and leaned out of the camera’s view during my virtual therapy session. A ferocious sneeze escaped and I blew my nose with the force that comes with being a week sick. I unmuted myself to re-join the session and my therapist looked at me and says “No need to apologize, Kati. Body first.” 

“Huh?” I replied, not entirely sure what she meant. She proceeded to explain that I have no need to apologize for my body simply being a body. “Sneezing, snot, using the bathroom…. These are merely bodily functions of all people with bodies and don’t require an apology” she explained.  I laughed and agreed that it was odd that I’d automatically apologize for blowing my nose… I was, after all, recovering from Covid and congestion was unavoidable. And yet my apology had slipped out faster than I could stop it. It had actually felt like I was being conside ...

I have been learning a lot about shame recently. I think if asked, we can all describe it. It’s when we believe not only that we did something wrong, but we believe we ARE wrong. These days, we can feel it anywhere. We post something on Instagram and someone critiques or condemns us for posting it.  We say something in a group of friends and people laugh or make fun of us for saying it. We stand up to our family on something we feel is wrong or have differing beliefs about, and they shoot us down. Even if we have a health crisis or feel like our body fails us, that can also be shame. Like I said, we can feel it anywhere, anytime, and from anyone.

There are two things that I feel combat shame or at least help us identify it and help us learn to distance ourselves from it, the first being self-compassion. This is quite different the self-esteem. Self-esteem “refers to our sense of self-worth, perceived value, or how ...