Tag: emotional intelligence

For years I often heard people say that you have to go through grief and pain, you can’t go around it, you can’t go above it, you have to go through it. For years I didn’t understand what that meant. We live in an incredibly emotionally avoidant culture which then leads to chronic mental emotional health struggles, high addiction and disconnection from self and others among other symptoms. 

In order to move through grief or pain a person must create a safe space for emotions to build. Like a wave on a beach, emotions need to be able to build and crash safely on the shore before they can recede out and become calm again. Instead of allowing the natural flow, we often dam up the water as high as we can to keep it from crashing, but then when it inevitably breaks the dam, and the lifetime of suppressed emotions can come cascading and flooding ...

What if someone told you that everything you think about emotions is wrong? As people, we like categories. Categories help us make sense of the world around us and ourselves. In an effort to help understand ourselves, we place emotions into such categories. 

Often, people will discuss negative and positive emotions. What if there are no good or bad emotions? When you focus on something being negative or positive, then you are more likely to focus on the positive aspects than the negative. This could lead to behaviors that could be damaging, causing individuals to withdraw when emotions are not considered positive. When you feel happy, you may feel social and want to spend time with people around you. When you are excited you are eager to share. However, what happens when you’re sad or jealous? Do you share those emotions with others, do you allow yourself to explore how the emotions feel in your body, or do you suppress them?