Tag: trust

You are sitting on a bench at your local playground. It’s sunny (despite Michigan’s temperamental weather). Your gaze begins to wander and settles on children climbing. They are climbing everywhere. It’s amazing, actually, how many things children can climb on. You further notice how they run, walk, slide down slides, play tag, squeal with delight on swings. Toddlers trundle off in a big, new-to-them world. They seem to take up space with ease; it’s their world, we’re just living in it. They are so sure that they belong wherever they go. Do you have this scene? For me, this imagined space invites lots of emotions: joy, wonder, delight, curiosity, and sadness. Yes, sadness. Because I, as an adult, have a harder time feeling so present and excited and happy and confident of belonging. I have more awareness and more to my story as to why these emotions make sense for me.

What is play, and why does it make sense for all humans of ...

Recently, I returned from an amazing honeymoon voyage to the Virgin Islands. As our ship docked, we were in breathtaking awe of the pristine clear blue waters and lush tropical hillsides. We were greeted by locals dressed in colorful costumes representing their indigenous culture and dancing to Caribbean music. Quaint shops lined the historic avenues and street vendors displayed their wares with cheerful enthusiasm. One could not help but be taken away on a warm breeze of excitement. Taxi drivers lined the avenues willing to take you on tours of their treasured island for this is the home of THE “Treasure Island” boasting the resting place of much famous pirate booty, ship wrecks, water wonders with many colorful species of coral (who knew “fire coral” is a thing); animals, military forts, historic landmarks, and much tropical horticulture.

Joining other eager tourists, we commandeered a taxi bound for the other side of the is ...

I was talking with my daughter recently and she shared with me that she is teaching my granddaughter about setting and respecting physical space limits.  My daughter didn’t use those specific words, but it is essentially what she was referring to.  It reminded me of the importance of setting clear boundaries with others and the important responsibility of keeping and respecting boundaries of others and of ourselves.  It is good to recognize that we all have limitations and recognizing that and putting healthy boundaries up helps us to thrive.

My granddaughter is learning about a physical boundary, but there are other areas we may want to consider when thinking of boundaries.  Areas that I have learned to value and protect with boundaries include financial, time, energy, and emotional boundaries.  These can change as our circumstances change, but it is good to know what boundary I need or want to be in place for the c ...

There are many different trainings or theories that I have walked through in my personal and academic life. Each one has offered a unique skillset to help myself and others navigate stormy seas. One of the most recent approaches has stuck in my mind more than others in the past. It is an approach created by Dan Allender and taught to me from an LPC named Matt Kenney under the name of  “Story Retelling.”  The premise is fairly simple: each person at one point in their development incurred a wound. This wound spoke a message of shame to the child. The child then created a vow to be a certain person or live a certain way so as to never feel that shame again. As a result, a false self is created through which the child learns to interact with the world. This false self is the point of discontentment and battle within the adult.

It begins with a wound. The fallen nature of the world ensures that each person will be hur ...